#34 Bryna Leib shares the secrets to getting involved in Jewish traditions

Bryna Leib, former director of the Early Childhood Center at Temple Israel, talks about how to get involved, and stay involved in the traditions and holidays of your new Jewish family.

Links and more mentioned in this episode:

1. DOWNLOAD FREEBIE: JPM Basic Guide to Jewish Holidays Get it NOW! CLICK HERE  
2. DOWNLOAD FREEBIE: JPM TOP 12 Wedding Words EVERYONE should know! Get it NOW! CLICK HERE
3. For more information, check out the Jewish Party Maven website Click Here
   
   

SUBSCRIBE & LEAVE A REVIEW :  Apple Podcasts -  Google Play -  Spotify and MORE!

For more platforms visit: BUZZSPROUT

Just like in the party world, reviews are like GOLD.  If you liked what you heard, please leave me a review and share what you liked the most about the episode.  

CONNECT:   Email

LIKE & FOLLOW: Facebook   Instagram

LEARN MORE: Website   

Transcript

Pat Blackwell: 0:03

Hello there, and welcome to the podcast. I am Pat Blackwell, your host and today I have the great pleasure of talking with my friend Brian Aleem, who was the nursery director at Temple Israel for many, many years, and has lots of experience dealing with families. Welcome, Brian. Hi, Pat. I'm so excited. You could be here today. You haven't been at Temple Israel for a long time. But tell me about when you were there. What was your role at Temple?

Unknown: 0:29

I was a director of the early childhood center, our classes ranged from babies with moms and dads and care workers to kindergarten children, who then went on to either private or public schools. We had approximately 300 children per year, big. Lots of kids 14 1516 classes, depending on the year, and what was going on in the community.

Pat Blackwell: 0:58

So you obviously were a Jewish early childhood center. We're all the kids who came there Jewish? No,

Unknown: 1:05

no, we had many families who chose to participate in our programming. Many of them had friends or extended family members who were Jewish, who wanted to learn more about the holidays more about life cycle events, and they joined us in our preschool.

Pat Blackwell: 1:26

So as somebody who I grew up not knowing anyone Jewish in my whole life, I didn't know anybody Jewish until I was 24. And I moved to Detroit. And then I got a job at Temple Israel. And I've met all kinds of amazing, wonderful people. But I didn't understand any of these customs. And I am sure that you as an educator, dealt with a lot of parents who didn't understand any of these customs either. So let's talk specifically about the holidays. We just finished Russia, China, we're ready for your young poor, tell us about if I am a parent, and I want to stay involved in my grandchildren's lives or my children's lives. What can I do with my grandkids for rashanna?

Unknown: 2:07

idle like to back up a little, I think the first thing you need to do is when your children decide that they will marry, I think there needs to be a conversation with parents, with your children, obviously, about being involved in their lives. It's a trip to the library. Obviously, you can go on Google and find lots of information about the holidays, about customs about vocabulary. I think it's important that you understand the life cycle events, I totally understand the need or the desire to have your children be a part of two worlds, both the Jewish world and the Gentile world if there's an interfaith marriage, and in doing so the children become whole. So my feeling is that the holidays are very important to Jewish people, as of course they are too gentle.

Pat Blackwell: 3:08

So you're using this word Gentile, and when I grew up, I didn't know what that word meant. Crude engines. My buddy who is not Jewish is considered Gentile. Okay, got it. Oh, so did you grow up in a Gentile neighborhood? Or did you grow up in a Jewish neighborhood?

Unknown: 3:22

No, I grew up in a small town of wasco, Michigan, there were 15 Jewish families in the whole community. My mother was born there. And I grew up understanding that in my family, we were traditionally Jewish. We celebrated the holidays. We went to temple. We did all the lifecycle events. However, my friends were not Jewish. So my parents felt that it was important that I understand and be a part of the community in which I lived in. So I learned early on that even though I didn't celebrate Christmas, I went to a friend's to decorate the tree. We make Christmas cookies. Getting back to the Jewish holidays. My parents always invited people in for Russia, Shana, Russia, Shana is the birthday of the world. It's the creation, that God made the world in six days and he rested on the Sabbath. So my friends knew that on the Sabbath, I went to my grandparents who lived in the community, and often they came with us for a meal. So getting back to Russia Shana, it is a time to celebrate the year and to wish one another a healthy, happy and sweet New Year. In doing so. Often we dip apples in honey. When invited to a Jewish Home for Rosh Hashanah. You will see that whether you've gone apple picking or both the apples at a store, Russian is a time when we feel that a slicing an apple and dipping it in honey, or having a traditional Jewish bread called a fala. An egg bread is also dipped in honey. It is a time to wish one another a very sweet and good new year. So also in terms of activities. There's apple picking with your children. There's making Jewish New Year's cards with your children. There's,

Pat Blackwell: 5:35

there's cards, wait a minute,

Unknown: 5:36

because it's our new year. It's the beginning of the world.

Pat Blackwell: 5:40

So in the Christian world, we send out tons and tons of Christmas cards. Do Jewish people send out Rosh Hashanah cards?

Unknown: 5:47

They certainly do. They do. And now of course they send out Texas. You know? Of course they do. And it's time to connect with people. And to wish them a happy new year and let it be a peaceful year a safe New Year.

Pat Blackwell: 6:07

And I saw some craft projects online somewhere where you take an apple and you dip it in ink and you make your own card and those rashanna cards with advice.

Unknown: 6:16

There's a ton of collage kind of things you can do. You can take your children on a fall walk all of this is Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur War pseudocode, and some cateura. The for fall,

Pat Blackwell: 6:30

we got a whole bunch of words there. We don't know. Okay,

Unknown: 6:33

that all run into one another. And the general theme is the fall holidays. The So you said Russia, China and Russia. China just passed. And now we're ready for Yom Kippur? What does young poor mean? It's a time to reflect upon your behavior toward yourself toward others to possibly say I'm sorry, to someone you've offended, to make amends and promise to be a better person

Pat Blackwell: 7:07

that young before that inclusive the Day of Atonement.

Unknown: 7:11

Yes. So most of us fast if we're healthy and able adults fast on that day. So we have a traditional meal at sundown on the day of Yom Kippur that is called break fast.

Pat Blackwell: 7:26

So not breakfast, but break fast. So if I were lucky enough to be invited to a break fast celebration at the end of Yom Kippur what kind of things could I bring? You could bring a honey cake. You could bring young certainly cookies you could bring

Unknown: 7:45

apples if you've gone to the market, or you've gone apple picking some of the things that we used to do with the kids is by awka, or actually we went apple picking as a school. But if you go to the market, you buy all different colors of apples, all different sizes of apples. You can make apple prints for for cards for Jewish New Year's cards you can.

Pat Blackwell: 8:13

So there's not a bunch of rules about I can't have this food, I can't have that food. Once you break the fast you can have pretty much anything that they would have on a day to day basis.

Unknown: 8:22

Often it's a dairy meal. I'm not sure how that started many years ago, I think because they felt it was lighter in the stomach. But I really am not sure about that. But most often it's bagels and lox which lacks is a smoked salmon. Tuna egg salad. We people bake kugel, kugel is a noodle pudding, a big dish with sour cream and cottage cheese. And if you want to make it sweet, you put an apples and you put in raisins. The noodle cocoa is traditional for break fast, so almost like a Brunt. Very much like a brunch, very much like a brunch, lots of goodies for dessert, always fruit.

Pat Blackwell: 9:12

So you said that most adults fast for young people are two kids fast.

Unknown: 9:17

Once they've reached the year of Bar Mitzvah.

Pat Blackwell: 9:21

They would have been listening to this podcast, you know that girls can get it but it's been at 12. And boys get bar mitzvahed at 13. And so once they're adults in the Jewish world, then they fast.

Unknown: 9:32

Yes, yes. But kids done in today's world, I find that fewer and fewer people are actually fasting, which is kind of disappointing, because I'm old world

Pat Blackwell: 9:45

as a grandparent taking care of my grandkids. I don't need to worry that they would have to fast. Correct? Correct. So maybe it would be really awesome if I would take my grandkids on Yom Kippur War because then their parents can Fast and not be tempted by the kids food, right? So we got to be a wonderful band, we're

Unknown: 10:05

talking about going for a walk, we're talking about collecting fall leaves, we're talking about going to the zoo, we're talking about doing all kinds of little arts and crafts projects that would keep them busy that day, while the parents are in the synagogue, praying. There are always Children's Services at any temple or synagogue that you may or may not wish to be invited or or participated participate in. But they're very welcoming, generally speaking, I would think and I feel that it to be inclusive is what's involved in making children whole.

Pat Blackwell: 10:54

So my, what I think I'm hearing from you overall is don't be afraid to ask to be included in those things. Just because you're Gentile. You're not Jewish, doesn't mean you can't be part of their Russia, Tony, you can't be part of their young people or you absolutely can. You can and you should. Hurry, hurry. Thank you. Okay. You said another holiday. Soon cut Torah and surcoat Well, they're coming right up.

Unknown: 11:17

Okay. So, first of all, pseudocode pseudocode is the fall harvest. Here again, it's like the Jewish Thanksgiving, if you will. It is a time when our ancestors went out into the fields and harvest the fall fruits and vegetables. They built what is called a soccer

Pat Blackwell: 11:40

podcast on a soccer, okay, and so some.

Unknown: 11:45

Some families do make a soccer and put it in their backyard. Many in today's world don't. But it's a lovely, lovely thing to do and have your meals outside. We decorated and this is something grandparents can do by collecting corn stocks, and gourds, pumpkins, bales, bales of straw, anything that is fall in the way of harvest and then all those things can be cooked. We we go pumpkin picking. We don't make them into Jacqueline or says in Halloween. But we decorate our circle or possibly use them for baking. So

Pat Blackwell: 12:29

Halloween is not a Jewish holiday. No. But it's All Saints Day. Right? So Halloween is all saints and that's a Christian holiday. So right Jewish people typically don't celebrate Halloween, but just like you're going to participate in somebody's Christmas decorating tree. You might go participate with somebody for Halloween, but you have your own holiday in the spring that is your

Unknown: 12:54

version of Halloween got them? Generally we we get dressed up and have a great time during Purim. And well, it's usually around February, in February. And it is a time when we celebrate the courage to be who we are. And to understand that there are always people out there that are anxious to harm you. And it's good over evil kind of thing. And in that the queen. It's fun. Yeah, yeah. Emily decorating. As characters of that holiday the king the queen, Haman was the villain.

Pat Blackwell: 13:42

Alright, let's get back to the holiday we skipped. We skipped right over Hanukkah.

Unknown: 13:46

And I think Hanukkah is the most important for Gentile families to really be involved in. Because they don't understand that it isn't the Jewish Christmas. It is different. It is unique unto itself. Hanukkah is a celebration of religious freedom. And again, basically good over evil and we survived and we meet. We decorate a menorah, which is an eight branch, candelabra with a helper can go in addition, so there's nine places for candles. And we light a candle each night. It's eight days because we were able to how we're

Pat Blackwell: 14:40

able to date.

Unknown: 14:41

Yes, we were able to go into the temple years ago. Yeah. And the oil lasted eight days.

Pat Blackwell: 14:50

So let's talk about for Hama Christmas. Do you give gifts for Hanukkah? Yes, yeah, they

Unknown: 14:57

don't have to necessarily be a expensive gifts, that you don't have to necessarily give eight nights of gifts. I know that when my children were young, we did themes. One night was music one night was books one night was close one night, you know, different themes each night. And they could be just a small little paperback 295 book on book night. Or it could be you know, a winter jacket on the night of clubs. It, it doesn't matter so much the gifts as it matters, being together, making potato lockers, which are the traditional food for Hanukkah, and they are right. And doughnuts and just celebrating. So if, if grandparents want to participate in Hanukkah, there's so many things that they can do again, there's all kinds of decorations that you can make for Hanukkah for the house. There are

Pat Blackwell: 16:05

so it's none about putting up blue lights on your Christmas tree

Unknown: 16:08

it no Jewish families do not have a Christmas tree. It is wonderful to go to someone else's home to decorate the Christmas tree, because that's their holiday. It is not our holiday. But we have Hanukkah decorations of all kinds. If you look at any Google or library book, it will give you a whole list of darling things that you can make with your children. There's always there's the Draco, which is a little top that you play games with. I think that with every Jewish holiday, there's a significant food involved.

Pat Blackwell: 16:52

I know I've joked many times on this podcast the theme of every Jewish holiday is they tried to kill us we survived Let's eat Exactly. What's the food for hot

Unknown: 17:02

potato pancakes blood coast lapkus and there are some people today bake them because they don't want to eat fried foods. The truth of the matter is a little oil in the pan and frying them men doing it once a year is not only fun, but delicious. They're served with applesauce or sour cream. Going back to the fall holidays. One of the great things that I've always done with my grandchildren is make applesauce, Apple cobblers you know so many things go from one holiday to the next center traditional but Hanukkah is doughnuts, jelly, doughnuts, filled doughnuts and lot ghosts. And just a good time for a days. Just a really good time. But it doesn't have to be competitive. And and people don't have to worry oh my gosh, how can I afford that? But it's not truly about the gifts. A token is lovely. And it's fun to just be invited over or invite the children to your house.

Pat Blackwell: 18:11

Terrific. Okay, so now it's spring and we have Passover. I know that's one of the more complicated holidays because people who don't celebrate Passover don't have any idea what leavened bread means. So can you okay but going back,

Unknown: 18:24

Passover Seder, the Seder is order of the Seder is the meal.

Pat Blackwell: 18:32

So all of these Jewish holidays start the night before it is and what was

Unknown: 18:38

the pascall supper? Hmm. So if they know what a pascall supper is in the Catholic faith, it is similar to that. Passover is a time of Exodus from Egypt when we were slaves. And now we're free is returning to our homeland.

Pat Blackwell: 19:03

So what can you do with your kids your grandkids for passive Well

Unknown: 19:06

first of all, you can participate in making the Seder plate you understand by reading what are the items that are on the Seder plate? Again, there seems to be a general theme I talk most of apples here but there's apples and nuts and wine which is called corrosive and did you hear that guttural we got a sweet mixture of delicious of foods that are put on Meazza dairy was a Mata. Mata is the unleavened bread.

Pat Blackwell: 19:44

So um, we have a Jewish rice right

Unknown: 19:47

right when the Jewish people were fleeing Egypt. The Pharaoh said they could go they ran out of the city with dough basically not to our go on their backs, and it did not have time to rise. The bread did not have time to rise, it became unleavened and it became matzah.

Pat Blackwell: 20:13

So for Passover, the kinds of things you do with your kids are the

Unknown: 20:17

things so I would not offer my my Jewish children a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or a bagel or a bagel, because I would offer my yes or I would offer Mata but with peanut butter on it, delish.

Pat Blackwell: 20:34

So foods that are very common during Passover are lots and lots of eggs.

Unknown: 20:39

Yes. One of the things you could bring to a Seder, if they agree, whoever's hosting the Seder, you could bring hard boiled eggs, it's part of the Seder. It's a symbol of reborn spring. There's personally there's bitter herbs for the tears that were shed. The Seder plate has all these items on it, and you can replicate them with arts and crafts projects, you can make a wine cup because we drink lots of wine for Passover. And we welcome strangers into our home. Anyone who has nowhere to go, we hope will be included.

Pat Blackwell: 21:25

The overriding thing I'm hearing from you is, don't be afraid of Jewish holidays. Don't be afraid to get involved. Don't be afraid to learn about them. It's not some big dark secret. No, it's something that is absolutely important that you get involved in if you want to be involved in your grandkids lives and your children's lives, then holidays are part of that. And you should work to understand what those holidays are and be included in them. And so as a listener to this podcast, clearly you're aware of all of that stuff already. And we thank you for listening. But I'm just so grateful for you for coming on today, Verona and talking about all these wonderful ways that we can get our families to be a cohesive unit. It's not about us and them. It's about this family, and what's best for these kids and how to make everyone a cohesive unit. And that's what I focus on. Yep. And that's a wonderful attitude. And that goes for anyone anywhere. So do you have any one piece of advice you'd like to give for some interfaith grandparents who would like to get involved in their Jewish grandchildren's lives,

Unknown: 22:41

just be open, be open to new ideas open to participating, opening your heart and your mind to activities that may seem foreign to you. But if you think about it, it's all about family. It's an every holiday centers around a meal. They're always they both are projects and cooking activities that can be done that are inclusive of everyone. And it's important to want to be involved.

Pat Blackwell: 23:17

couldn't have said it better. You are terrific. And I so appreciate your being on the podcast. This was Brian leave the former Early Childhood Education Center at Temple Israel in West Bloomfield, Michigan. and tune in next week and we'll talk about some more holidays. Thank you so much.