Episode 8: Jewish Wedding Word of the Week: B'deken
Just before the ceremony, the groom is checkin' during the B'deken, to be sure this is the woman he wants to marry.
Join Pat Blackwell here every week, where you, the BEST vendors, expand your wedding business into this lucrative Jewish market. By understanding the traditions & vocabulary, you will build TRUST and GROW your business. Cha Ching
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Episode 8: Jewish Wedding Word of the Week: B'deken
Just before the ceremony, the groom is checkin' during the B'deken, to be sure this is the woman he wants to marry.
Join Pat Blackwell here every week, where you, the BEST vendors, expand your wedding business into this lucrative Jewish market. By understanding the traditions & vocabulary, you will build TRUST and GROW your business. Cha Ching
Links mentioned in this episode:
Don’t miss future episodes!
SUBSCRIBE & LEAVE A REVIEW: Apple Podcasts - Google Play - Spotify and MORE!
For more platforms visit: BUZZSPROUT
Just like in the party world, reviews are like GOLD. If you liked what you heard, please leave me a review and share what you liked the most about the episode.
CONNECT: Email
LIKE & FOLLOW: Facebook Instagram
LEARN MORE: Website
Welcome to episode number eight. Today our Jewish wedding Word of the Week is b'deken. The b'deken is the time just before the chuppah ceremony when the groom covers the bride's face with her veil. Today, we're going to learn all about the b'deken ceremony and what it means in a Jewish wedding, and also how it applies to your business. As a Catholic farm girl in Minnesota, I certainly never expected to ever be the Jewish party man. But 4400 parties and 26 years later, I am indeed an expert at Jewish party. I am fiercely committed to helping the best vendors, book more parties in this amazing, lucrative and incredibly loyal Jewish party market. Let's go. As I'm recording this, it is early marked, which means that we've been living with COVID for a year. Wow, it's crazy. My last big outrageous awesome party was March 7 2020. I sir did not know it at the time. Likely you didn't either. Never did I dream that my party income would be reduced to zero. I talked to a videographer the other day, I asked him about his business. And he said and I quote, I'm so poor, I can't even pay attention. At least he still has a sense of humor. Serious Seriously, though? How is your business holding up? How are you doing? The fact that you are listening to this podcast tells me you're still here. still learning still growing, still learning to get even better? Good for you. Keep at it. Michael Jordan once said, obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it or work around it. Well, that's what Michael Jordan says. And I think it's good advice. Maybe part of going around that wall for you means learning about the customs and traditions so important to Jewish celebrations. Maybe this is the year that you break into the Jewish wedding market and grow your business. COVID has taught us not to take anything for granted. I appreciate you for listening. If there's something special you'd like to hear in these podcasts, send me an email. Send it to pat at Jewish party maven.com. I'd love to hear from you. All right, let's get started. This week's podcast is one called Word of the Week. So let's get started with our new word, b'deken. We will do this the Jewish party Maven way. Step one, we will say it. Step two, we will see it. Step three. We will save it in your brain by using it. This week's word is b'deken as with many it is words, it has real spellings. But the most common spelling is B apostrophe d e k e n, b like boy, apostrophe D like David. e k, like Karen e. n, like no, b'deken some people spell it be a dkn some people spell it bidet can be Ed ek UMG. There's lots of options here. But they're all pronounced the same. b'deken. So step one, say it with me. b'deken. I usually ask you to shout it out. But this is a solemn time. So let's say it quietly b'deken b'deken, you've got this. So what is a b'deken? Well, it's a part of the ceremony, but the custom varies tremendously from orthodox weddings to reform weddings. But in all cases, it's a special time just before the chuppah ceremony where the couple is surrounded by their family. The groom covers the bride's face with her veil, literally. b'deken is the veiling. Many times the parents offer a blessing to this couple. It's a really special time. Step two. Let's see it. I told you, we would say it, see it and save it. Now that you know how to say it, it's time to see it. You can do this. Normally, we play this visualization game with some silly words, but this time we're going to change it up a bit. The whole b'deken ceremony is based on the story in the Bible where Jacob was tricked into marrying the wrong sister because he did not see her face before the ceremony. The groom is checking at the b'deken. Can you remember that? The groom is checking at the b'deken to make sure he's marrying the right woman. In reformed Judaism, the b'deken usually takes place about 15 or 20 minutes before the ceremony begins. The couple will have just signed their kotoba and their marriage license. The couple is usually asked to stand sometimes back to back sometimes not. The parents gather around them and offer blessings to their children. Then the couple turn toward each other. They see each other and confirm that this is indeed the person they intend to marry. Then the groom lowers the bride's veil in front of her face. There are lots of interpretations for this veil. Some say that it signifies their willingness to provide and care for each other. Some say that the veil sets her apart from the others. Some say that this proves he's only interested in her inner beauty. In conservative and especially in Orthodox Judaism, the b'deken is a really big deal. Often the bride and the mothers and the grandmothers and the bridesmaids are all seated on a special platform. Quite often in a Queen's chair or on a really beautiful couch with some special gorgeous decorations behind them. The groom is usually in a different part of the building surrounded by the men who are chanting prayers and singing loudly. At some point about 20 minutes prior to the chuppah ceremony, the groom is led over to the bride. There are usually some horn players leading the men as they dance and sing toward the bride. This is a highly emotional time, especially if the bride and groom have not seen each other for the customary several days before the wedding. The men are singing and dancing, and they lead the groom over to the bride. After checking to be sure that she is the woman he wants to marry, he covers her face with the veil. Then everyone heads over to the official chuppah ceremony for the wedding. Whether observant Jews or not many Jewish couples still incorporate some type of b'deken into their pre wedding rituals. This personal contact between the bride and groom is a very emotional moment. And a big step in declaring their new life as a couple. There are lots of different traditions in weddings. But the b'deken is one of those old traditions that's taken on new meaning. The first quarter of 2021 is almost over. Have you met your quarterly financial goals? Maybe you thought you'd be back to normal by now. Not quite. Maybe you should do the business version of a b'deken and do some checking on your financial goals. I'm excited to report that my phone has been ringing and ringing. I'm so happy to hear that phone ringing. I booked three parties just today. Confirmation signed quotes the whole bet. Yay. But I'm also getting emails from my April and May clients who are just what is that word? COVID fatigued i think is what they're calling it. They are given up and canceling their parties altogether. Are you giving up on your business? You know how they say there's a silver lining in every crisis? Well, if you just got yet another cancellation, the silver lining here is that you've just been given some more time to work on your business. Time to learn some new skills. Why not take this opportunity to sign up for my new Jewish party Maven course. You can learn a whole bunch of vocabulary, a whole bunch of traditions and a whole bunch of ways that Joy's weddings are different from other weddings. Why should you trust me? Well, over the last 26 years, I've worked over 4400 Jewish celebrations. I think I really do know what people want what our clients want what our clients deserve. Alright, let's wrap this up with a review. This week's word is b'deken say it, b'deken see it. He is checking under the veil at the b'deken. Save it in your brain by using it. The groom confirms that this is the woman he wants to marry. Then he covers her face with her veil. He is checking that he's got the right woman at the b'deken Mazel Tov. You've just learned a new word, and you're one step closer to gaining the trust of your new Jewish clients. Remember your freebie, download the powerful cheat sheet. 12 Jewish words the best vendors Nope. Just click on the link in the show notes or go to Jewish party maven.com. If you'd like to learn more, follow me on Facebook or Instagram at Jewish party Maven, we're trying to make it easy for you. I really appreciate your thoughts and your feedback about the show. You know what I'm gonna ask you leave me a review. Because just like in the party world, reviews are like gold. Then join me here every Wednesday, and you'll be one word closer to booking your new Jewish clients touching. Thanks for listening